It is natural to want to be comfortable, and change is anything but. If you are someone who has run from anything uncomfortable in your life, change will be terrifying. But how can true change occur if we keep to the same thinking and actions?
All those feelings you’ve been numbing or ignoring, they will be there to greet you on the other side. And they will be bigger than they were when you first pushed them away. More ferocious. You will be tempted to run again. You will want to return to your vice, surround yourself in its familiarity. But, once you’ve decided to make the shift from having a hole to living whole, its consolation will be devoid of what drew you there before. Awareness changes everything.
So when you face your change and the emotions make you feel like you’re losing touch, find your ground. One moment at a time, one breath at a time, recenter and reground.
Heard this before? The big question behind that advice is always how?
Look around and identify, without judgement, all that you see. Black car. Green sign. White wall.
Listen to all you hear and identify all the sounds, without judgement. Children laughing. Birds chirping. Music playing.
Breathe in the fresh air around you and identify all that you smell, without judgement. Lavender candle. Food cooking. Perfume.
Feel all the sensations and, without judgement, identify them. Clothes on skin. Cool breath in, warm breath out. Sit bones meeting the seat.
And to round it out, bring your awareness to your taste buds and identify anything you find there, without judgement. Mint. Lime. Fresh air.
Take these pauses when your mind takes over and fear settles in as you face that which you’ve always run away from and bring yourself back to your physical surroundings. You may need to do this over and over again throughout the day as you first start your journey to recovery, and the more your practice, the more it becomes second nature.